Deacon Bob Rice

Last weekend I celebrated both a milestone and a “moving on.” It was my 20th year of leading worship for the adult Steubenville Conferences, and it was also my last. 

Well, mostly.

In 2004 I left my position of being a full time youth minister at St. Ambrose Catholic Church in Latham, NY to become an Assistant Professor of Catechetics in Steubenville, OH. It is hard to overstate how significantly different those two jobs were! I loved youth ministry and didn’t have any desire to leave it, but I strongly felt the Lord calling me to teach at Steubenville. Knowing his will is always better than my will, I accepted. But honestly? At the time I was a little upset about it. 

One of the things that most bothered me was (what I thought would be) the lack of music. As a youth minister, I played weekly Mass, I played music for youth gatherings, and I had the flexibility to travel and do music events around the country. But who is going to want a “college professor” to lead their band? I thought I was being asked to trade my guitar for a tie. 

Still, I said “yes,” knowing that blessings come from obedience. And they sure did!

In February of 2005, the head of the Steubenville conference office called asking if we could meet immediately. The man who had been leading the worship for the summer conferences—Jim Cowan, the legend!—had taken a parish job in Florida and they didn’t have anyone to lead worship at any of their ten adult or youth conferences that summer. Could I do it, just for a year? 

It was an overwhelming request. I had led worship at a youth conference before so I knew the amount of work it took just to do one weekend. But… ten? Plus, I had never been to any adult conference before, and they all had different feels to them. It meant learning a whole new repertoire of music. 

“One more thing,” I was asked. “Ideally, we’d like you to use all students in your band, if you can.” 

Wait, spend the summer mentoring college students to lead worship? That sounds like… A MUSICAL YOUTH GROUP! I was in. 

Though there was a few rough spots, the summer was amazing. “Could you do it next year, too?” Sure. “And the next year?” Of course! Soon it became assumed that I’d be the worship leader every summer for the Steubenville Adult and Youth Conferences—and I was fine with that. Every June and July over the past couple of decades I’ve led over ten thousand conference participants each year in praising Jesus through song. 

The greatest joy of those years were the musicians I got to lead the worship with, young men and women with incredible talent who had the opportunity to share their gifts in that amazing conference environment, many of whom I am still close friends with today. 

Around 2019 I felt the Lord move in my heart to let go of leading worship for the youth conferences. A young man I had been mentoring for years, John Paul Von Arx, was more than ready to step into that role. And I was excited to host and speak at more youth conferences (instead of doing music). The plan for the following summer was for me to lead the first half and him to lead the second half… but that was 2020, the year that destroyed all plans. So when 2021 came around, John Paul took all of them. At the time, I had no thoughts of not leading worship for the adult conferences. I was only 50, the music sounded great, the conference office was happy, why make a change? 

Last fall, my spiritual director started leading me through St. Ignatius’s Spiritual Exercises. It is often done in an intense 30 day retreat, but it can also be done stretched out over a nine month period of time—that is the one I did. St. Ignatius was a master of discernment. Many of his spiritual reflections were challenges were about “spiritual detachment” and finding “balance” in our lives. Here is a challenging quote: 

“It means that before we face any decision we do not determine to do everything that will keep us healthy and nothing that that might make us sick, to be rich rather than poor, to be considered somebody rather than a nobody, to live to a very old age rather than to die younger. In that way, we would keep a balance before any created thing when the time comes for our decision… to put another way, I would try not to tell God what will make me happy (that judgeship or a heap of money or a brilliant scientific career). I will wait to find out what God has been hoping in me—and live confident that it will make me happy.” 

Through those prayers and reflections, I felt renewed and recommitted to my fundamental vocations as a disciple of Jesus, a husband and father, and a deacon.  I became more passionate about my role as a teacher at Franciscan. One of the greatest gifts was a clarity about my love for and ministry with youth. Teenagers aren’t just one of the many groups I happen to minister with, for me they are THE group. I want to be a “deacon for youth,” serving them and those who minister with them. The reason I became a professor in the first place was to teach courses in youth ministry! Two weekends ago, as I got to process the Eucharist around a field house with over a thousand teens, I was brought to tears of gratitude for the opportunity to LITERALLY bring Jesus to the young. 

So… what about worship for the adult conferences? I felt the Lord saying it was time to move on. Move on to what? I’m not sure. But I wasn’t sure what the Lord had in mind when I first said “yes,” so I’m sure he has something in mind now (even if it just means a less busy summer). “I will wait to find out what God has been hoping in me—and live confident that it will make me happy.”

To be clear, I’m not giving up summer conferences entirely. I will still be there speaking and hosting, especially at the youth conferences. Nor am I putting my guitar away and sealing it in a vault. Music has and always will be a part of my life and ministry, and I’m sure to lead events here and there at some of the smaller events (like the Priests, Deacons, and Seminarians Retreat, for example). 

But this last Sunday did bring an “end” to an era of my life. I worked hard to hold back tears as we played our final songs. Playing with a talented band (bass, keys, drums, guitar, sax, vocalists) in front of over a thousand enthusiastic people who appreciate what you do…  it is nothing short of AWESOME. Will I miss that? Of course I will. How could I not? I will also miss the people. The regular conference participants who I’ve gotten to know over the past twenty years. The national speakers I get to hang out with over the weekend. The musicians I’ve gotten to play with. 

If I just focus on what I’m giving up, my human tendency is to grab it back with both hands and never let it go! But that is when I feel the gentle hand of the Lord on my shoulder, guiding me elsewhere. It has been a great ride. I was faithful to what I was asked to do and I did it well. It is time to go. He’s got someone else he wants to bless with that experience, and he’s got a different way he wants to bless me in the future. And so I am at peace. 

Thanks to all of you who attended a conference I led worship at over these past twenty years—it was a blessing to lead you in song. Thanks to all those in leadership roles who gave me the opportunity to do this every summer, as well as all the speakers I got to work with on those weekends. Shout outs to the legions of tech people who made us sound good! Thanks to all the musicians I got to play with—I love being your older brother in Christ and honored to have given you an opportunity to use your gifts for his glory. And of course, all thanks be to God who is so abundant in his generosity that he would shine his light through me in such a way that would touch so many people. To him be glory and honor forever, amen.